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Emalee. 22. Lover of cooking, baking, coffee/tea, classic movies, fall/spring, and of Lewis Caroll's Alice in Wonderland and Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice. Writer of poetry when time permits.
Always longing for a love that's everlasting and a life to die happy from.

My working list of things that I’ve learned about myself

I mediate with music
I point the blame to myself before pointing at others
I worry, it’s what I do.
I tend to view people are good until proven wrong.
My intuition is the strongest thing I possess.
I shut my intuition off when I hope to believe wrong (again, I blame myself first because I view other people are good, perhaps more than me?)
I like having control in my life a lot as I get really upset when I don’t.
but I respect those with their own control of their own lives.
I know when it’s a good time to leave any relationship or situation.

He didn’t listen so he now is blocked. I feel relieved. Granted on Tumblr, he still can type in my blog’s link and read my stuff but I just don’t him to see my shit on his dashboard.

Everyone who reblogs this by November 1 will have their URLs scattered around Disney World in Orlando, FL.








I’m going to disney on november 1-3 and if I don’t see at least one url I’m going to be pretty mad at you :///

Dear Diary: Ladies and Gentlemen, May I Present To You…

This will not be a long entry, I’ll promise you. Lately, I’ve been having dreams that are not quiet nightmares but not quite m delightful either. For weeks now, I’ve had multiple dreams of a person who entirely once could have ripped my soul from my body and laid me to rest by his horrid behavior. I’ve learned more than twice of that lesson. Fortunately, I’ve walked away with a lesson that there is nothing more disgusting than a man who lies and cheats of his affections for a woman (though, I am sure I am not painted in his bright colors either).
My dreams of him were horrific, witnessing his lust/love/whatever he is portraying for his new interest was revolting. It was always around my friends and family and then turning to the background and seeing them two going at it. I’m sure that this can bs interpreted that his relationship bothers me, which to my reaction would be, “of course, she’s the one you were seeing/kissing/whatever behind my back!” Because let’s admit it, she was #3 or #4 to my knowledge he was talking to in the short 4-5 months we reunited. Anyway, even though, I do not follow him on Tumblr, Twitter, not Instagram anymore, I did simply kept him on Facebook (I hardly go on there anyhow) and snapchat. I believe having that access was an unwise choice and although for awhile it didn’t bother me because I moved on quickly after, once that relationship ended, I found that his access to my life (aka him following me), like Facebook, tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, snapchat, etc. was just too invasive as my little access to his. It bothered me. I don’t care about his life as I know it’s similar in rank to how he cares for mine; so I just want that kind of access to be cut. If he marries this girl and she bears his kids, my care would be as little as hearing a knock on a house in another neighborhood. I do not care because it is not my business.
So I did what was best for me - I deleted him on all accounts and then prompted him to do the same. Of course, was it more considerate than blocking him? Yes, I did not want to be rude but will I think he will do what I asked? I think it would depend on if he thinks he will benefit from keeping his tabs on me and my life but I truthfully do not think he deserves to gain that knowledge. He has no right.
My life may be out there for the public to interpret as they wish but I give only permission to those who deserve it to know truly who I am. When you betray me, you lose that permission and to cheat by accessing to my life, knowing who I am and what is behind the mask is risky for me.
It’s almost like being a magician and having someone to gain your trust and rose to become your aid and apprentice but they betrayed you and hurt you horribly and seeing them show up to your performances weeks later. It’s not the fact they can expose your secrets that upsets me …because they can and life will move on but the vulnerability and reopening of a closed wound every time they see you is what gives you away.

Anyway, I just want to write that out there. I have other reoccurring dreams to talk away about but I’ve been dealing with insomnia and I would like to sleep at a proper time for once in an week. So until then, see you when I see you!

"I give because I know how it feels to want."
-(via soulsscrawl)



if your boyfriend is your best friend, you’re doing it right.

if your boyfriend is your only friend, you’re doing it wrong.


"Well, that was a crappy movie"
-As I cry for the 7th time at the end of The Fault in Our Stars